On my way back to the U.S. a few years ago, I met Cherry, who was working as the concierge at the Intercontinental Hotel, which was directly across the street from the O.R. Tambo Airport in Johannesburg, South Africa, where I was staying for the night. 

Cherry was a beautiful woman, and we instantly connected. Cherry showed interest in my work in Africa and in my book. I could sense she had something to say. As it turned out, what she shared with me resonated on many levels, even though, on paper, we had little in common.

As we spoke, leaning over the concierge’s counter, Cherry began to tell me her story. She had started working at the Intercontinental, and since then, her life has undergone a significant transformation.

Cherry told me, “My income has tripled since taking this position two years ago. I love my  job, but my pay increase has created new complications in my ten-year marriage that I’m not sure I know how to deal with.” 

Cherry’s husband resented her for out-earning him, and their relationship was on the verge of collapse. She felt torn between her career and salvaging her marriage.

In many ways, Cherry’s situation is similar to many stories people tell me and to stories and articles I read from publications worldwide. 

Traditional gender roles often dictate that husbands provide financially for their families. Society expects women to manage the household, care for the children, and handle the finances.

It is not shocking to me that this is the case. Only in recent times have so many women started pursuing high-paying jobs. This has only been prevalent for the last two generations, whereas for the other approximately 79 generations since the birth of Christ, men were seen as the breadwinners and women as the breadbakers. 

This “new” dynamic can lead to resentment or emasculation among men and a new sense of shame or guilt for women.

Our lack of communication about money with our partners is a global issue. Financial matters often strain relationships, whether it’s Dollars, Euros, Shillings, or Rand.

By beginning to address these issues openly and honestly, we can foster healthier relationships not only within our communities but also worldwide.

For example, in developing countries in Africa, societal norms are often guided by those of developed nations. While cultural differences exist, people worldwide look to each other for guidance. Promoting financial literacy and open communication about money can have a positive ripple effect globally.